Via Matt, a meme of many random questions.

Have you had sex in the past 24 hours? No.
Are you gay? No.
Do you have hairy legs? Yes.
Do you smoke anything? No.
Do you like monkeys? From a distance. I wouldn't want them nearby pulling bits off my car, or whatever it is monkeys do these days.
How many fillings do you have? Around 2, if memory serves.
Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Lake. Not keen on salt water, and I'm (or used to be, at least) a strong enough swimmer not to need the extra bouyancy.
Have you ever licked one of those square batteries? No.
Have you ever read the Bible? No, I tried once, but since it's not my religion I wasn't driven enough to get past the first book. I even turned down a free copy when some zealots came to brainwash our school.
Did you ever go to Sunday School? Matt: I choose not to answer this question as it is too American. I disagree: my parents went to and/or taught at Sunday Schools. But I didn't.
Do you wear a lot of black? Yes, it's much easier to plan your washing when most of your clothes are the same dark colour.
Did you ever bring a weapon to school? No.
Have you ever hugged a tree? No.
Do you know what a sphincter actually is? Yes.
Describe your hair? It's light-mid brown, down past the bottom of my shoulder blades, and currently tied back in one tail.
Are you a wildbeast? Not that I noticed. Are you a wildebeest?
Do you like to have fun? Yes, although it's worth nothing that I don't necessarily get fun out of the same things as the next guy.
Do you like drama? Not a great deal. Unless we're talking fiction, in which case I'm a fiend for decent plot (and decent characters).
Have you ever taken a bong hit? No.
Do you like mayonnaise? Yes.
Are you afraid to die? Not so much as afraid to die painfully.
Do you like playing in leaves? No.
Have you ever peed your pants as an adult? No.
Have you ever thrown up on somebody as an adult? Not that I recall. Not often thrown up as an adult.
Are you an adult? So I'm told.
Ever won a spelling bee? I'm with Matt on this. I gather there are spelling competitions in parts of this nation, but I'm sure they have better names. I have been nowhere near such a thing.
Do you ever eat because your depressed? Not really, although I like eating and when I'm depressed I might go looking for things I like to do.
Are you a television addict? Hardly; I barely watch the damn thing.
Do you think OJ was guilty? He looked conspiciously so, but as for thinking, I can't say I'd really cared enough to give that much thought.
Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? Yes, although she's some way away and I don't see her often.
Have you ever had sex in a hot tub? No.
On a swing? No.
Do you like Elvis? Yeah, a little.
Do you enjoy watching animals “do it” on the Discovery channel? No. Only got terrestrial TV, and I watch that very rarely (not that I'd enjoy watching animals 'do it' on any other channel...)
Ever been hit on at a zoo? No.
Have you ever had sex with a total stranger? No.
Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkeys? What, are you meant to smoke them or something?
Does your mom think someone is hot? Probably. It's not high on the list of things to discuss with my mum.
Are you a sugar freak? No.
Ever been arrested? No.
Ever commit a crime and get away with it? Yes, the usual: some speeding, that sort of thing.
Do you like orange juice? Yes, it's not bad. Prefer apple.
What sign are you? Aquarius. Or Monkey (metal). And now astrologically astute readers can work out how old I am to within a month or so...
Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly? Not sure I entirely understand the question, but probably no.
Where do you wish you were right now? At home, probably. Well, in my own house and so on, but that dream simply isn't coming true until I make it all happen...
Did you enjoy this? Just enough to keep on through it. But it was a close thing.